


Miracle

by Tantaylor



Category: Duran Duran
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-24 16:27:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21860911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tantaylor/pseuds/Tantaylor
Summary: This sunny summer day is a very special day for John.  who feels happy and free the first time in ages.It`s that kind of day where everything seems to be possible.A day made for miracles.
Relationships: John Taylor/Roger Taylor (Duran Duran)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 8





	Miracle

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my mother tongue, no beta.  
> Another sleepless night story, inspired by Mike and the Mechanics`*All I Need is a miracle*  
> Feedback welcome  
> Thank you

Summer 2000  
It`s a sunny mid-day in California and I can't remember the last time I felt this good.  
Free, at peace with myself.  
I had a brilliant morning with my daughter at the Santa Monica pier, ice cream, popcorn, fries, all that. A lot of laughter, cuddles and kisses, and now we`ll drive to her weekly soccer match  
I sit in the car, watching Atlanta bouncing up the steps to her mum`s house door to get her sport bag.  
Today is a very special day for me. Indeed. A very special day. The day I almost died. If it wasn`t for my best friend.  
Six years.  
Six years ago Nick found me half dead in my hotel room, way too much alcohol and coke in my system, lying in my own vomit.  
It was his voice, the panic in it, what woke me up.  
There was my best friend, my soulmate, yelling and crying, convinced I was dead.  
Nick Rhodes never yells.  
He never cries.  
Never ever.  
Only on that one day six years ago, when he thought his drug-addicted best friend took an overdose.  
Nicholas James Bates saved my life, and not just that.  
He brought Nigel back.  
Ever since, I am clean. For this gawky boy with the thick glasses, who dreamed of being a star and almost broke when he finally became one. Nigel.  
Today is Nigel`s second birthday. The sixth anniversary of Nigel`s second birthday.  
I feel strong. Happy. Free.  
No drugs, no lies. Never again.  
My coming -out two years ago came unexpected for everyone, even Nick. and he still resents that I never confided in him. I couldn't. I had my reasons.  
I had a boyfriend, Phillip, but I guess for him it was the John-factor. We broke up 4 months ago, and I don`t miss him the slightest bit.  
Looking back, I think he never loved me. He loved to be with a pop star and was all annoyed to find out that I prefer to be Nigel. That I want nothing more than someone who loves me for what I am, for who I am, someone to get old and grey with.  
There was someone once. A long time ago. He was the reason why I could never tell Nick.  
Our love was a secret and broke with the fear of standing by ourselves.  
Goodness, we were so young, so confused.  
I've been thinking about him a lot lately.  
I smile when I do that, that's new too. Not long ago I could not think of him without being sad. It was perfect, and we threw it away because we didn't have enough courage.  
Today it makes me happy to think of him. He is a beautiful memory, a part of my life.  
What does he do? Is he well?  
I would so much like to know what he looks like today.  
We were such a good team. So different and yet so equal, have complemented us perfectly in so many ways. Especially in bed.  
I have to laugh. Yes, my God, we had great sex, even if it was often enough just a quickie, a very quick quickie.  
How much nicer it could have been if we had had time for each other, if we didn't have to hide all the time.  
Atlanta turns, throwing me a kiss.  
“Be right back!”  
“Hurry up, Beanie, we`re already late.”

On the way to the soccer field we sing happily along with the songs on the radio.  
I'm fine. I'm really fine.  
By the end of the day, I will be the happiest man on earth, but of course I don`t know it yet.  
I don't believe in miracles, actually. But that`s what happens on this special day. A fucking miracle.  
Beanie jumps out of the car as soon as it stands still, disappearing into the dressing rooms.  
Because it`s a sunny Saturday, the place is quite crowded. Girls' soccer has become quite popular in recent years and Atlanta's team has often been in the papers. That's why for some time now there have been spectators who are not related to any of the players.  
I get a Coke at the drinks stand and just want to find a shady place when someone laughs behind me.  
"I thought you preferred Pepsi, John!"  
Oh no, not another pushy fan.  
I switch on my professional pop star smile and turn around.  
There's a man with a little boy by the hand. Both look strangely familiar to me.  
“You haven't changed much, Nigel. And you have no idea who I am, do you? Oh well, it`s been a while. It`s me, Steve. Does that ring a bell?”  
“I know you from somewhere, but I can't figure it out. Please help me.”  
“Come on, Nigel! You used to come to our house so often, our mother almost adopted you!”  
“I am sorry ,mate. I was heavily on drugs for over a decade, what probably had killed some brain cells.”  
“Want a hint? You used to play in a band with my little brother.”  
“With my daddy!” the little boy nods eagerly, beaming all over.  
Oh.My.God.  
“Steve!”  
“ I told you!” he grins  
“Steve Taylor! Goodness! What the hell are you doing here?”  
“We happened to read your daughter's name in the paper, and we thought we'd come here.”  
“What? From England?”  
“Nah. We`re on vacation. Long needed time out.”  
“And that`s…?” I am stunned. Absolutely stunned.  
“That`s Elliot, Roger`s son.”  
I think I'm going to faint.  
“Hi, Elliot…wow… Now that you say so, the resemblance...wow. How`s R…how`s your brother?”  
For some reason, I can't say his name out loud. I'm dizzy, my heart's racing. It seems to me as if I am dreaming a strange dream.  
“You can ask him yourself. He just wanted to go to the toilet.” Steve winks.  
This can't be happening! It`s insane.  
“Have you grown, Nigel? My goodness, I forgot how tall you are!”  
That voice. I would recognize it everywhere, even if I have not heard it for many years.  
I'm slowly turning around. I'll wake up safe and sound. This is not really happening.  
But he's standing there. He's really standing there. It is as if I had teleported him here with all the thoughts of him, with all the memories.  
“You're...here. I...this is...”  
I can't move.  
"Come on, Elliot, we'll get you an ice cream."  
Steve leaves us alone. Something tells me Steve knows. About us, Roger and me. Back then, so long ago, when we were a great team, especially in bed.  
Why are my cheeks suddenly wet?  
My hands tremble so much that I spill coke.  
I'll just drop the cup.  
"John." he says quietly. "My God, John."  
“I..can I.. I want to...” I stutter.  
“I want to, too.”  
“He knows.” I say sheepishly.  
“He caught us, more than once. Never said a word, though” He always knows what I'm talking about. If others haven't understood me, he always has. 

I'm taking a small step forward. Roger takes a small step forward.  
And then he reaches out his hand and strokes my cheek with his thumb.  
“That bad?” he smiles, wiping away a tear.  
“That wonderful.” I'll die if I don't hold him, so I do. I take him in my arms.  
“You`re hard!” I gasp.  
“Pardon me?” he chuckles and I laugh out loud.  
“Your body, I mean.”  
“Ah. Gym. A lot. Running. A lot.”  
“Ah. Drumming, too? A lot?”  
“Not that much lately. Hard to find a good bassist to play with.” His hands hesitantly stroke my back, almost as if waiting for approval.  
“Hard.” I nod, pulling him closer.  
“Very hard.” He whispers, his breath sweeping over my neck, giving me goose bumps.  
God, yes. I am. He is. Hard as nails.  
My hands wander deeper, cupping his ass cheeks. “Missed you. A lot.”  
“Same.”  
“This is crazy, Roger!”  
“That I missed you too?” God. This naughty little grin.  
“That you're here! I really thought about you a lot. Even today. In the car.”  
“And how does Phillip feel about you thinking of me so often?”  
“Phillip who?”  
“Your boyfriend Phillip, John.”  
“Oh, THAT Phillip! There`s no boyfriend, we broke up months ago…wait, how do you know?”  
“I read the papers. What a scandal. The English press freaked out completely about John Taylor being gay. Who would have thought that? Oh, and here we have John Taylor, attending a show of his former bandmates in NYC, with his gorgeous boyfriend, Phillip fucking Waters! I fell off the chair reading this, literally.”  
“Were you jealous?” This ass feels good. Better than back then.  
“No. I was…angry. Sad. I don`t know. Phillip is a hoity-toity little faggot.”  
“You were jealous.” I grin.  
“You have bad taste.”  
“You used to like my taste. How I tasted. I liked yours, too, by the way. A lot.”  
Suddenly his lips are on mine, warm and familiar. His tongue in my mouth.  
Now would be a good time to wake up.  
But it's real. He is real.  
“Fuck!” I pant when we part.  
“Later.”  
“Huh?” I'm completely out of line. What is happening here, please?  
“We'll do that later, John. We're on a soccer field here. And maybe you should get your hands off my ass, otherwise I'll go crazy.”  
“Excuse me, did you just say we're gonna fuck later?”  
“Someone needs to show you the difference between a little faggot and a real man.”  
“You were jealous!”  
“Like hell, Nigel. I fucking freaked out. We should... the match's about to start.”  
God, we must look like two moronic lunatics standing here, grinning , shorts visibly bulged.  
“It`s crazy, Roger! Totally crazy. I love it. May I... is it okay to hold your hand or put an arm around you? I'm afraid to wake up when I let you go. I have to touch you to realize that you`re really here.”  
“I feel the same way.”  
“What about your son?  
“I don't think my son wants to hold hands with you. No, seriously, John, I shouldn't kiss you in front of him yet, but I think holding hands is okay.”  
Yet. He said yet. What is that supposed to mean?  
After I got myself a new Coke without letting go of Roger's hand, we find Steve and Elliot.  
I want to ask so much, know so much, but it has to wait. Now I enjoy the moment.  
“Which one is your daughter?” asks Steve.  
“The goalkeeper.”  
This is an incredible day.  
Atlanta's team wins, of course. Today everything is possible. Today miracles happen.  
We'll have dinner together after the game.  
Elliot, Atlanta, Steve, Roger and me.  
Roger and me.  
Never in my life would I have thought that there could ever be a Roger and me again.  
Roger has gone from a confusing memory to a beautiful memory.  
And the moment I started thinking about him like that, enjoying those memories with a bit of melancholy, but without the regrets of the past, that's when he shows up.  
At some point I have to let go of his hand because Atlanta insists on sitting next to him when she learns that he was also a goalkeeper.  
I can't get the grin out of my face anymore, watching them together. Only when little Elliot yawns heartily, eyes almost falling close, do I notice it's getting pretty late. For four-year-olds anyway. This is also about the time when I decide to erect a monument for Steve Taylor at some point.  
The *Thank you so very much*- statue of a hero.  
Here's what he says:  
"I'll call a taxi and take Elliot back to the hotel. I think you two have a lot to talk about. Among other things.”  
“Nonsense, Steve, I'll give you a ride. I should take Beanie to her mother anyway.”  
30 minutes later I unlock my front door, letting Roger in. Into my house. Into my life.  
I don't have the slightest idea how this is going to work, but I am determined to find a way.  
This miracle must mean something.  
“I'd like to offer you something other than coffee, coke or water, but I don't have any alcohol in the house.” I feel strangely embarrassed when Roger sits in my living room.

“Coffee's great. No alcohol is great, too. You're fine, Nigel, aren't you? I mean, really good. You look amazing.”  
“When I left the house this morning to pick up Beanie, I noticed that I was happy for the first time in ages. The whole day I felt like that, you know? Happy. Come with me into the kitchen. This is still so unreal, that you're here. I want to be able to look at you.”  
While the coffee machine is doing its job, I tell him what happened six years ago. Why today is a special day for me. I'm still telling him when the coffee has long since been drunk.  
“Today of all days, Roger! It's a fucking miracle. You. Here. With me.”  
“It's a fucking miracle you're still alive, Nigel.” His beautiful eyes are reddened from crying. We cried together, that was kind of beautiful. We stayed in the kitchen, sitting opposite each other at the table, our fingers entwined on the tabletop.  
“I`m alive. I`m clean.”  
“You are gorgeous, John Taylor. Would you please come here? I want to kiss you!”  
“No!”  
“What do you mean, no? You don`t want me to kiss you?” Oh God! He`s so…hot. Jesus. He`s hot, really.  
“I want . I want so bad it hurts. But once we start kissing we`ll never stop, we`ll never ever stop if it's up to me and then I can`t ask the half million questions I have.”

“Then I need more coffee. It would also be helpful if you looked a little less sexy.” He winks and I feel that I`m blushing.  
“Uh. More sexy.” He growls.  
There is something in his gaze that makes me crazy, something in his tone of voice that makes me think about postponing the questioning until tomorrow.  
“Stop being so fucking hot.” I snort, bring our hands to my lips and kiss his fingers before letting go to make new coffee.  
“Why are you on vacation with your brother and your son, why not with your wife?” I ask while filling the filter. I am glad that I`m busy here, because the question about his wife is the most important, the one where I'm most afraid of the answer.  
“I`m not married any more. We divorced when Elliot was a year old.”  
“Why so?” I shouldn't grin so wide.  
“I met someone, I thought I was in love, and I didn't want to cheat on her.”  
“You THOUGHT you were in love? “  
“Yes. Thought. But it turned out that it was just sexual craving, from his side, at least.”  
“His?” Sexual craving. His. I am going to die!  
“His. Carl. No regrets, though.”  
“Carl?”  
“Yes , John, Carl. You had a Phillip; I had a Carl. I think, we are gay.”  
“Well, I am. Out of the closet. What about you?”  
“Considering I left my wife to have wild sex with a man, I think that means I`m gay, huh? And yes. Out of the closet. To answer the other part of your question, we are on vacation together because Steve and I needed some time with each other, alone, and he always wanted to visit LA. I didn't really want to come here first.”  
“Why not?”  
“I was afraid I'd be thinking all the time about that bass player who happens to be living in LA. Which, by the way, I was right about. But that was Steve's plan, I guess. When I separated from Gio, Steve was the first person I outed myself to. You can't imagine how surprised I was that he already knew. Roger, he said, why did you take so long? I don't doubt that you loved Giovanna somehow, but it was different than with Nigel, wasn't it? The first time he saw us was in the car. Maybe it wasn't very smart to park right in front of the house.”  
The car. Goodness. My first car. We went to the dealer together, Roger and I.  
“It was probably even less smart having sex in the car outside your parents' house. And in retrospect, it's enormously surprising that we didn't break anything.” I chuckle. “Sex in the car is really not very comfortable.”  
“We were young. We were double-jointed.”  
Ack! Has his voice always sounded like that? So seductive?  
Uh. We should stop to talk about sex. About being double-jointed. It makes me think of his legs wrapped around me while I was taking him. Not just in the car. I've been inside him so many times.  
My hands are shaking a wee bit when I pour the next round of coffee, and I`m so hard that I feel like I'm about to burst my pants at any moment. I'm sure he'll see this before I sit down again.  
“So, Steve. Steve wanted you to meet me?”  
“He didn't say it directly. Pretended it was a coincidence that he found this newspaper with a picture of Atlanta's team. Of course, I couldn't resist. Not after reading her name. Atlanta de Cadenet-Taylor. I didn't know if you were gonna be there, but I really wanted to see her. Your daughter.”  
“Well, I was. There.”  
“You obviously were.”  
We look at each other. His hand reaches for mine, a thumb caresses my palm. The air between us is burning.  
“Was it worth it?” I want to know. “To get divorced because of Carl?”  
“Yes. Not because of Carl, but Carl made me realize what I really want.”  
“Wild sex with a man?”  
“That, too.”  
Goodness, it`s hot in here. He`s hot.  
He is sex. Pure, manly, mind-blowing sex.  
“Was it good? The sex? With Carl?” Why the hell am I asking this? I don't wanna know.  
“Yes. It would be a lie to say otherwise. It was great, and I missed it. How was the sex with the little faggot?”  
“Amazing. He always made such nice noises when he came. And he had a really cute ass. Tight.”  
“Noises? I bet he squeaked.” Roger's eyes are almost black, his voice a dark groan. I like it, it's hot.  
Although this is probably the strangest foreplay ever. Because it is , definitely. It's incredibly exciting foreplay.  
“You mean unlike that guy from Birmingham who thought he was the reincarnation of James Dean? Because he was always grunting. Or screamed. Pretty loud. Harder, Johnny, fuck me harder! Uh.Uh. Uh.”  
“There were no uhs”  
“There were a lot of uhs. And ahs, and ohs, and oh my Gods.”  
“Let`s not forget about the oh Rogers, oh pleases and the fuck, you are milking mes. Besides, my ass is prettier than Phillips'.”  
“You think?”  
“No. I know.”  
“Which would have to be proved.”  
“You had both hands on my ass, you must have noticed.”  
“True. Well, it felt good, really. But what feels good does not necessarily look the way it feels.”  
“You want to see my ass, John? Shall I strip for you?”  
“That would be very sweet of you! Shall I put on some music? Joe Cocker?”  
“John?”  
“Yes, Roger?”  
“Stop talking nonsense and get over here.”  
“No, Roger, I won't do that. I'm gonna sit here and watch you strip for me.”  
Holy fuck! He's actually doing it. He gets up, stands in the middle of the kitchen and looks at me. Provocatively. Sexy. Wicked .  
“Where should I start?”  
“Shirt. Take it off very slowly. Make it look sexy.”  
Oh. Oh fuck. It is. Sexy.  
Can you find belly buttons sexy? This one is.  
Just like the whole stomach, the chest. Those nipples, my God. I loved sucking on them.  
“Nice. Now the shorts. Slowly.”  
Oh God. Uh!  
“Ha! Heard that! That was an uh, John Taylor!”  
“Shut up. Pants down. Show me your cock!”  
It's that sound that makes me lose my temper. The sound of his dick whizzing out of his underwear. I swear there was a noise.  
“Fuck, Roger!” I'll be with him in a hundredth of a second and bury my tongue in his mouth.  
God. Jesus. Uh.  
“Want you, Johnny. Want you so much!”  
“God, yes. You have me. You always had me.”  
I don't know how we made it into my bedroom but here we are, naked, entangled.  
We're not very tender. Tenderness is not enough. It's not enough to suck on these nipples, I have to bite them. It's not enough just to kiss We steal each other's breath; we fuck with our tongues, take possession of each other's mouths.  
It's just too much. Way too much and not enough.

Overwhelming, uncontrollable horniness.  
“I want to fuck you. Let me fuck you, let me be in you!” I pant between eager kisses, his calloused hand around my shaft driving me all nuts.  
“Later.”  
“Again. Later! You don't want to? Have you changed sides?”  
He laughs into my mouth, I can feel the rumble in his chest.  
“You think that's funny?”  
“What if? If I changed sides? “  
His cock in my hand is hot and heavy. And fucking big.  
“I guess that would hurt a little bit. But real men can take it.”  
“Have you ever bottomed, John?”  
“No.”  
“And you would do this for me?”  
“I want you. No matter how. And if you want to fuck me, then fuck me.”  
“Oh, God, John! I don't want to fuck you. I want you inside me. But we're both so horny it would only take seconds, that's why I said later. I want to enjoy having you inside me. Long. As long as possible. Now I want to drink you. Cause I think you taste a lot better when you don't have two bottles of vodka circulating in your bloodstream. Let me suck you. Let me taste you!”  
Oh. Yes. Yes, please!  
He was right, it won't take long. As soon as my cock disappears in his mouth, the tip of his tongue pushes into the little slit and I explode. I didn't know that was possible, that you can fuck a dick with your tongue. He was IN my dick. The sentence alone almost makes me come again. It sounds so deliciously obscene.  
Roger's face, as he comes up between my legs, is much more obscene. He licks my cum off his lips and rolls his eyes in ecstasy.  
“Ah. Delicious, John Absolutely delicious”  
“You are utterly debauched, Roger Taylor! Goodness, your tongue was in me! I want to try that too, come here!"  
“I'm afraid it's too late for that.”  
“I don`t get it.”  
“I've already shot my load, and since I'm unfortunately not 20 anymore, it's gonna take me some time to reload. Next time I come, I want your dick in my ass, and whether it works again, I don't know. We'll figure it out.”  
“You... did you touch yourself?”  
“No. You make me so horny, all I have to do is touch you, or rather, suck you. I've missed your beautiful cock. I missed it a lot.”  
“Oh man, you're incredible! Absolutely incredible!”  
This night is the best I ever had.  
How we manage to have so much sex and still be horny for each other, I don't know.  
I don't know what's gonna happen next.  
It'll work, somehow.  
Because it's a miracle.


End file.
